By: Faith Pearce
(3 min read)
I didn’t know where to begin. It has been a while since I have written. There has been so much happening lately, and in time I will share more.
But I will start here. My daughter recently returned from university. It had been over two months since I had seen her, and I had missed her greatly. When she returned, she gave me the biggest hug she ever has ever given me and held me, saying it had been too long. It was a special moment. She is only back for two weeks, and before long, it will be time for her to go back again.
A few days ago, she asked if I would dye her hair. I thought about it and said, of course, but the earliest would be in two days. She was surprised I didn’t instantly say, “Sure, let’s do it now.” It is a long process, and I told her I didn’t want to finish it late into the night. When Thursday came, she asked at 9 PM, can we do this now? I said, no, it’s too late. She did the same the next at 8 PM, and my answer was the same. So today, she asked if we could please do her hair. And I said, “Of course!” This was the first shift I noticed in our relationship. First that I prioritized what was best for me and when. And second, she recognized my stance and respected it.
Doing her hair was a therapeutic exercise. First, brushing the hair into sections and evenly spreading the color all the way to the end. It reminded me of all the times I had brushed her hair in the past and put it into plaits or bunches. So many times, I had stared at the back of her head and marveled at how lovely, long, and thick her hair was. She used to wiggle and complain and ask if I was done yet. But this time, she was still and didn’t complain once.
The song “Voulez-vous” played on my mind whilst I worked my way up to apply the last of the color. Maybe her stillness was due to me being very calm whilst I was doing it. Maybe she was just occupied with her electronics. Maybe it is because she has grown up. Either way, there was a shift.
There have been times it has been a stressful experience. At times, it was manic or a battle, just trying to work with each other. But, it reminded me just how much things have changed and how much we have both grown for the better and continue to.
As the lyrics played in my head, “Now is all we get! Nothing promised. No regrets.” I really appreciated this moment so much more. I know they will get fewer and fewer apart, and maybe there will be a time she will no longer ask. Change is the one constant in life, yet we spend so long fighting it instead of embracing it.
Right now is all we have, and if we are not present, it will pass by before we know it. So I just enjoyed each strand, each stroke of the brush, and each moment like it was the first time because, in reality, each moment is brand new. I am not who I was before. I have never had this moment before and will never again, And I just need to be present and enjoy that.
I spent too long focusing on looking ahead or even behind, and often, I haven’t seen the beauty of the moments around me.
I was looking up the lyrics of “Voulez-vous,” and the title translates as “Do you want.” I interpret this in a more literal way. Do you live in the moment or let it pass you by? Nothing in life is promised, and it will continue to change. Do you want to live with regrets about what you didn’t do?
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